Category: Best Self

Challenging times don’t make the person, they expose them; they reveal the person’s true character.

In this video, I ask some telling questions about how these difficult times are exposing you, and what it means about your character.

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Several months ago, in the 2018 Goal setting newsletter, I suggested being focused and selective with your time. Lately, I was wondering what you focus on and pay the most attention to these days.

What do you listen to the most?

• Talk radio
• TV
• Movies / Videos
• Music
• Friends talking
• Other

Second question: is the message primarily

• Positive, negative or neutral
• Optimistic or pessimistic
• Encouraging or discouraging
• Educational or nonsensical

Your answers are important because how you feel daily is being shaped by what you listen to. What you focus on will increase in your life and be reflected in your attitude and actions.

The research on the importance of focus is deep and compelling.

Both Bill Gates and Warren Buffett, when asked what single factor most contributed to their success, said Focus.

Timothy Ferriss said, “Being selective—doing less—is the path of the productive. Focus on the important few and ignore the rest.”

An Unknown author said, “The successful man is the average man, focused.”

On an everyday level, the easiest way to mistakenly cut your finger while working in the kitchen is to focus on (look at) your finger more than the food you are cutting. Smashing a finger when hammering a nail happens most when you focus your eyes on your finger rather than the nail.

Returning to my first question, the correct answer to what you listen to the most is – for everyone – your thoughts. It’s what you say to yourself in your head – your self-talk. Yes, you talk to yourself, all day, every day, probably way more than you know.

Don’t be concerned that you talk to yourself, or even that you answer yourself, we all do. Be very concerned about what you say to yourself! It is slowly, silently and powerfully shaping your attitudes and actions.

Now that you know you listen most to your thoughts, how will you answer the second question – what is the primary tone of that message?

I’ve often thought it would be cool to connect my brain to a printer, and print every thought I say to myself for one day. Crazy, I know, but the results would be very telling.

If you recorded all your self-talk for one day, printed it out and then highlighted all the positive thoughts in green, the negative thoughts in red, and the neutral thoughts in gray, what color would dominate your document? Are you sure?

In his book The Power Of Story, world-renowned performance psychologist, Dr. Jim Loehr states, “I believe that stories – again, not the ones people tell us but the ones we tell ourselves – determine nothing less than our personal and professional destinies. And the most important story you will ever tell about yourself is the story you tell TO yourself.”

The truth is you are your biggest advocate or your worst enemy. You see, everything starts with a thought.

The good news is that no matter what thoughts you currently communicate to yourself, you can change them. They are only thoughts, and changing your thoughts is under your control.

Loving yourself is one of the most positive changes you can make, and impacts many other areas of your life. Louise Hay suggested the following: “The first step to loving yourself more is to stop criticizing yourself.”

Make a conscious effort to pay more attention to your self-talk. When you find yourself saying something negative, pessimistic or critical

stop dead in your tracks and hear what you just said to yourself

record or remember it so you can examine why you said it

change the message to align with how you want your life to be

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Most of you know I’m a health conscious person who values physical and mental fitness. I was discussing training schedules with a physical trainer friend of mine, and she asked how I had modified my training regimen after suffering a heart attack and devastating shoulder injury nine years ago.

As I shared the details of my surgeries and subsequent lifestyle changes our discussion turned to when “good enough is not good enough” – situations for which perfection is the objective.

The greatest payoff of striving for perfection is that even if you don’t achieve it, you accomplish more than when you set the goal lower.

Accomplishing more rewards you with an enhanced sense of satisfaction and personal mastery.

Unfortunately, from time to time you may be tempted to settle for ‘good enough.’

Settling for ‘good enough’ is a dangerous, self-defeating habit to establish because it blocks you from reaching your potential.

In this video, you’ll be challenged to:

• Identify the areas of your life that deserve perfection-based efforts
• Evaluate your current efforts toward reaching your goals
• Visualize how you can enrich life with perfection as the target

What areas of your life deserve an increased effort beyond ‘good enough?’

Remember, you accomplish more and feel better about yourself when you set your goals higher AND remain flexible enough to accept the ensuing results.

If you know of others who would benefit by setting higher goals for themselves, please pass this letter and video along to them.

That’s my perspective; what’s yours? Leave us a comment below this post and don’t miss the video on this topic on YouTube!

P.S. Next Week: Interviewing For Your First Leadership Position read more

Happy New Year! It’s time for resolutions, new goals, and a fresh start. Let’s make 2018 the best year ever! Have you set your goals yet?

Successful people who regularly reach their goals understand goal achievement. To achieve your goals

believe in yourself – Expect Success!

choose meaningful goals that excite you

set specific goals – SMART goals

surround yourself with encouraging people who regularly reach their goals

have a plan with a deadline

be focused and selective with your time

take action – avoid inactivity and procrastination

prepare to manage setbacks

leave no room for excuses

be committed – Success Is Not Convenient!

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With 20 of my closest friends, I recently celebrated the ‘well-lived life’ of a high school classmate who passed away.

We discussed everything from daily routines, life accomplishments, and family highlights, to broken relationships, failed careers, and life-changing accidents.

The theme that repeatedly surfaced was the importance of being prepared to take what life gives you and make the best of it. Life will undoubtedly throw you curve balls; how you adjust is what counts.

When I say ‘curve balls,’ most people envision dealing with failures and setbacks. In this instance, however, I’m talking about the curve balls that come with success.

When all your hard work pays off, and you finally reach the summit of that mountain you’ve been climbing, will you be prepared? Are your morals, ethics, and values solidly in place to withstand the challenges that are bound to come? Why do I ask?

We routinely hear about the

• lottery winner who ends up broke
• superstar who gets distracted by shiny objects, and loses everything
• ‘success story’ who fires the one person keeping him grounded, and squanders the career he worked hard to build
• celebrity who lets success go to her head and turns into a jerk

To stories like that the average Joe says, “If that had been me, I would have handled it better than they did. Give me a chance; I’ll show you how to handle success!” Are you sure?

Though relatively common, we rarely hear about the

aspiring manager who gets a long-awaited promotion only to cave under the pressure

new parents blessed with a newborn, only to have their relationship end in separation

partnership that collapses when the title of breadwinner changes hands

marriage unable to withstand the travel schedule of the new Executive

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Do you spend more time doing things you have to do and less time doing what you want to do? It’s time to reprioritize your life, to take some time to waste some time. What do I mean?

Schedule four hours to sit under a tree or in some quiet, peaceful place, and do nothing. If you just said, “I don’t have four hours to sit under a tree” you really need to do this exercise!

Don’t take your phone, tablet, computer or book. Quiet the noise, focus on nothing, do nothing, just listen. And if you just said, “I can’t sit still that long,” keep reading because I address that in a minute! When you listen to your life, it will tell you the changes to make to be happier.

There are two approaches you could use to reprioritize your life:

• systematically analyze every facet of your life (sounds like work)
• shutdown, quiet the noise and let the answers come to you (peaceful choice)

When you quiet that competing noise, the answers you’re searching for will be heard loud and clear. If you’re not convinced your life talks to you, where do you think the messages ‘don’t eat that’ and ‘

why am I standing here looking at the food in my refrigerator’

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